Thursday, July 5, 2012

On Friendships

You know it is difficult to maintain friendships with people that you have "abandoned" on the other side of the ocean. I never really felt like I abandoned anyone, but leaving with the purpose of returning and leaving without the purpose of returning looks pretty much the same to those that have been left behind.

I am not one to write a Christmas letter to all of my friends and family. And, I don't feel put off because only a few people have sent me their Christmas letters.

 I do feel bad that I miss out on birth announcements, family losses, and changes in everyone's lives. But, I am proud that I have grown in ways that others may not ever attain. When you move to the other side of the world, you supposedly abandon your "life". But, I never felt like I abandoned my life. Instead, I feel like I "unabandoned" the new parts of my life.

 In obtaining a new part of my life and especially a wife, I realized what it really means to "leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife." We have all had the chance to recognize what happens when friends get married. They pull away even more because cleaving takes time. When that happens on the other side of the ocean, the rare times, when communication is possible between separated family and friends, become even rarer.

 Today, I was reading a blog, The Altucher Confidential, that I really enjoy. The writer does an excellent job of speaking to my soul for some reason.  Here is the snippet about friendship that I was reading today:

"It’s ok to not return an email. Sometimes people get offended. But once you get back in touch with them, all is quickly well. It’s hard to keep in touch with everyone. Even good friends. But they are good friends because once you get back in touch again then all is well. One time I didn’t get back in touch with someone. I felt really bad about it. And the worse I felt about it, the harder it was for me to return phone calls and emails. I lost touch then for five years. But then I got back in touch with him and we got together. Now he is, once again, one of my closest friends. That’s how friendship often works. Those people are your real family as you climb through this life."        --James Altucher

I surely hope this is true because it is still my intention to move back to the U.S. someday and I don't want to have to "unabandon" all new friendships in the U.S.

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